GET UP. Move Faster.

I am beaten at the end of everyday.
Try to keep hope for Abel,
try to be a good wife,
try to be a good mom,
try to be a good friend,
try to keep money in the bank,
try to get Abel the best help,
try to find justice for our family,
try to protect other babies,
try to forgive myself,
try to learn to trust again,
try to believe in our future,
try to keep the house clean,
try to prepare healthy foods,
try to be patient,
try to understand when Abel gets frustrated and flings a whole bowl of food into my face,
try to lose weight,
try to get some sleep,
try to forgive my neighbors for waking Abel up EVERY DAY 15 minutes into his nap. EVERY DAY!
try to believe in our country,
try to believe in the human race,
try to save the environment,
try to form a non-profit,
try to fill out the impossible 501c3 forms,
try to advocate for safer birth,
try to do fundraisers,
try to stop trying so much.

What was I doing the first 30 years of my life?  Why wasn't I training for this???  I feel so under qualified and unworthy to face this battle.

The last couple weeks, as I take a deep weary breathe and try again, Morgan Freeman's face has been popping into my head. 
"GET UP.  Move Faster." 
Today it made me laugh when I remembered what it was from,  anyone else remember?


Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves.  haha  I have not seen that movie in 20 years!
Maybe life has been trying to train me. 
Maybe I am still training now. 
Maybe Abel does not need to have a perfect mom. 
Maybe he needs to see his mom Keep Getting Back Up and learning to Move Faster.

Complete with Christian Slater.  Epic 1990s style.
hahaha